An Immigrant's Bill Of Rights In France
Fight for your right to Starbucks
I recently returned to volunteering, teaching English as a Second Language (ESL) to adult learners. Thanks to a remote setup, I teach adults in the U.S. from the comfort of my home in Paris.
I’ve had the joy of teaching cleaning ladies, janitors, call center employees, and more—people who left their home countries as adults to build a life in America. Teaching them is a reminder of just how hard it is to start a new life.
My own experience moving abroad is quite different from theirs. Remote work provides me with steady employment, and my husband has a good job. But I understand the feeling of being a fish out of water.
I’ve written about Paris’s expat community and the harsh judgment expats and immigrants sometimes face, which inspired me to create the Immigrant’s Bill of Rights.
Immigrants—expats, whatever you call them—deserve respect, regardless of ethnicity, skin color, or nationality. Now that we’ve cleared that up, allons-y.
The 3 demographics below are the most problematic when you move overseas.
Other Americans living in France who use every opportunity available to verbally bludgeon you for not “correctly” assimilating or encountering difficulty as you make your way. Woe betide the person who innocently asks, “Where can I find ranch dressing?” lest they be attacked with, “Lol, you moved to France for a reason. It is called vinaigrette. Go back to Missouri if that’s a problem.” This is the largest and most vicious group.
Americans living in America who think you are on vacation.
French people whose facts about America come from watching 90120 and the occasional Bad Orange Man®️ coverage in Le Monde. This is the smallest group. Many French people are genuinely curious about life in the US.
In 2021 over 6 million people legally immigrated to France. Immigrants today make up over 9% of France's total population. I am one of those people navigating my new life in France.
Below is my bill of rights for all foreigners in France: rich, poor, old, young, children, working, unemployed, homemakers, and retirees.
You have the right to safety- Street harassment in France is real. Women are followed, yelled at, and *chased*. In France, if you tell the perpetrator to go away or try to run, he may chase you or rally his friends so they can surround or corner you.
One social media influencer had to walk in the middle of the street and go on TikTok live because men were following her, and she was terrified.
This is unacceptable but not uncommon. If it happens, you have every right to feel scared for your safety. If anyone tells you, "Well, that's just French culture! Ha! Those French men, amirite?" tell them that harassment and intimidation have no place in any culture.
2. You have the right to feel overwhelmed. French is, indeed, a vibrant, diverse Western democracy, but many customs are different from the US or anyone's home country. I’m slowly learning the intricacies of their government works and more about French history, but the more you know…the more you know you don’t know.
I was shocked to learn that the equivalent of a prenup is legally required for marriage in France. I explained this at a dinner party, and someone born, raised, and still living in the Mid-Atlantic region shrugged and glibly replied, "Well, makes sense." I was surprised to hear someone brush off a 30 paged French document containing specific provisions about home ownership (which, incidentally, does not work the same as in America).
You have the right to feel overwhelmed by processes, laws, and culture that are new and different.
3. You have the right to stand up for yourself. French are more straightforward than Americans. But no one deserves to be insulted. When people, French or otherwise, comment like, "Wow, you and your husband got married quickly" or "How much money do you actually make with your job?" you have the right to hold them accountable for unkind comments just like you would in your home country.
4. You have the right to miss the comforts and tastes of home. I grew up on an organic farm and love fresh fruits and vegetables. My mom was an organic co-op member before those were a "thing." That said, sometimes I want nothing more than a Starbucks iced coffee and a snack bag of Doritos.
Do not give a 💩 what anyone tells you about "French dining." The French line up outside Mcdonald's for McFlurries.
5. You have the right to speak your first language (sometimes). I arrived knowing a lot of French, and I am improving. That said, translating in my head all day is exhausting.
You have every right to speak your first language and watch TV in that language when you feel like it.
In my experience, those who speak one language have the strongest opinions about this.
6. You have the right to ask questions. Ask until you understand. I am still learning about French/American taxes. This is where "there are no dumb questions" comes into play.
Most importantly, some of your assumptions may not be relevant in your new country, so ask away.
7. You have the right to stand up for your home country—the French love throwing political barbs, especially at Americans. You don't have to tolerate it.
Stereotyping people based on their nationality is xenophobia. You needn't engage with people who believe that building rapport means making fun of your home.
8. You have the right to take your time. Conversation favorites include, "How's your French coming along? Do you have a job yet? When are you buying a house?" In a new country, it will take a lot of time to set up your life, and at least in France, these things have specific processes for Americans as we are subject to American tax and banking regulations.
Take it one step at a time, do your research, and make choices that work for you.
9. You have the right not to like certain things. It really is okay! I don't like snails or espresso. I love plenty of French things: weather, pastries, bread, museums, vacation days, stylish flats for women, Le Bon Marche, the Metro signs, and my family.
Give things a try, but you don’t have to pretend you really like something just to fit in.
10. You have the right to wear sneakers. France is the land of Converse, Nike, and Levis. Moreover, some European men wear denim capris with Hollister polos, and women wear skinny jeans with bedazzled Balenciaga t-shirts. Also, Parisian women do not wear heels on the street. They wear Repetto flats, Nikes, or comfy sandals.
Enjoy your new home in France. And, when you encounter these people, keep in mind that they too might be struggling to fit in.
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Author’s Note: You may have discovered my work through my posts about France—welcome!
A little about myself and what you’ll find here; I’m an American Jew living in Paris, and my writing explores topics such as free markets and individual liberties, Judaism and antisemitism, observations about life, and a bit of a contrarian view about France. I hope you’ll stay and enjoy this journey with me.
If you’re primarily looking for content about baguettes and the Eiffel Tower, you might not find that here, but I wish you well in your search.
